This is a long, detailed post so feel free to skip over if you are
not into birth stories.
Eric and I fully expected our baby girl to show up a week or two
late. My mother and my sisters had all their babies late so I was convinced it would be the same for me. When things started happening the Wednesday (June 6) before my due date (on Sunday), it definitely caught us by surprise. Eric and I had stayed
up later than usual that night, I think he was studying and I was just staying
up with him. We were climbing into bed at 11:45pm, when I felt
liquid between my legs. My first thought was that I had lost bladder
control and wet myself. I started to stand up and the liquid started
coming out even faster, and I suddenly realized that this was my water
breaking. I was completely in shock. I made my way into the bathroom but
just stood there over the rug staring down, not believing this was happening. After at least 30 seconds, I
finally had the sense of mind to stop soaking our rug and cleaned up. The
fluid continued to trickle and come out in small gushes over the next several
hours.
As it started to hit us that our baby was on her way, the first
thing I thought was, we aren't ready! We had all the big stuff ready to go,
but hadn't finished the last minute preparations yet – the fridge was
pretty much empty, carseat hadn't been checked yet, I hadn't sewn my cloth
wipes, etc... Despite all these thoughts, we also realized that we needed to try to get some sleep since the next day was going to be a long one for sure. We tried to calm down. Of course, neither of
us could sleep very well - too many thoughts going through our heads. And the
contractions started coming at about 12:20am. At first they felt just a bit
stronger than the Braxton-hicks I had been feeling. Gradually they grew more
intense to the point that it was hard to try to lay down through them. By
3:30am they were about 10 minutes apart, so I was continually getting up to
lean over the bed or sitting on the toilet to make it through the contractions.
I also kept needing to go to the bathroom. In the early morning hours, some thick,
pinkish stuff came out with the trickling fluid. Maybe this was the mucus plug? It wasn't until 4:30am that I was finally able to lie down and doze off a little between
contractions.
When morning finally came, I called the midwife on call to let her
know my water had broke and to find out what she wanted us to do. She asked a
few questions and then told me to call back after 8am since the midwife would be changing, but she let me know that we would be coming in to the birth
center sometime that morning to be checked. As we waited an hour, we got
dressed, pausing for the contractions which were about 7 minutes apart at this
point. I was absolutely starving so we ate some breakfast (home-made yogurt with granola and fruit!), knowing we would
need the nourishment. At 8:30am I called the midwife, who told us to come in
at noon and they would check to confirm that my water did break and see how far
I had progressed by that point. That was actually sooner than Eric and I had thought we would be going in.
Knowing what time we had, Eric and I started to get
things ready. We called my mom to let
her know that I was in labor since she was planning on driving down from Fontana to be
there for the birth. We all figured the labor would last the whole day so she said she wouldn’t start the 2 hour drive until the afternoon. Eric and I started putting the last few things in the labor bag and
prepared all the snacks and food to take with us. This basically turned into a frantic rush to see how many graham crackers we could spread with peanut butter before we ran out of time. Luckily, we had a bit of a leftover noodle dish that we brought with us for the after birth meal.
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| Me sewing the heating pad between contractions |
At 9:50am the contractions started coming faster, stronger, and
more painful, about 5 minutes apart. My back was killing me during each
contraction. We tried different positions to ease the pain, but it was mostly kneeling and leaning over our birth ball or the couch with Eric pushing on my back. It helped some. I started regretting that I had not gotten around
to making the rice heating pad that was on my to-do list. Amazingly, I decided I could make one right then - it could be my ‘labor project.’ So Eric got out the sewing machine and the rice. In between contractions, I sat down
and sewed. When a contraction started coming, I would get up and lean on Eric or the birth
ball. Luckily, it was a super easy sewing project, so it didn’t take too many contractions
to make. And, once it was done, oh my how amazing it felt on my back! Definitely worth it! I think Eric also appreciated the break from having to push so hard on my back.
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| About to leave for the birth center! (still smiling) |
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| Just arriving at the birth center (luckily only 5 blocks from our home) |
Throughout the whole morning, the contractions kept progressing,
but I still felt pretty good – still able to laugh at all of Eric’s jokes in
between. The morning seemed to go by
quickly and, before I knew it, it was time to head to the birth center. Thankfully,
we were able to find close parking – there is no parking lot, just street
parking, so we usually have to park a few blocks away. We made our way slowly to
the birth center, having to stop a few times to get through contractions. When
we finally met with the midwife, I must have looked very calm (not in heavy labor) to
her, because she was ready to send us off for a couple more hours to walk around the park. When she checked, though, I was dilated to a 5! That meant we were staying!
Since my
water had broken, I had to do fetal heart rate monitoring for about 20
minutes. This was the only time during
the whole labor that I had to sit still in one spot and be hooked up to
something. It was awful – the
contractions felt so much more painful! I don’t think the midwife (Britta) even kept me hooked up for the full time because
she could tell I was so uncomfortable.
Baby girl was just fine, so we headed upstairs to our room. (One of the reasons we were excited about giving birth at this birth center was the rooms. We had a full bedroom, a bathroom, a large bathtub room, and a waiting room all to ourselves! And it was all decorated in a cute, vintage fashion!) We checked in just after noon.
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| In the downstairs bedroom at the birth center upon first arrival |
We were looking forward to a water birth, but I wasn't far enough along to get in the tub yet, so we opted for
the shower to help relieve some of that back pain. I sat on a chair in the
shower and Eric sprayed water on my lower back. It felt amazing! That is, it felt amazing when the water was warm. Eric couldn't quite figure out the
temperature, so it kept going back and forth between warm and cold. I didn't stay there very long. For the
next couple hours, I went back and forth between using the birth ball, leaning
on Eric, and sitting on the toilet. The
whole time I felt like I needed to poop, a feeling that became stronger as the
time went on. I mentioned this to the
midwife and she said it was likely due to the baby's head getting lower.
She checked me again at 2:00pm, and we were all surprised to hear
that I was already dilated to a 10. Wasn’t I supposed to go through transition
and super horrible, intense contractions?
I definitely couldn’t pinpoint any point that felt like that. My contractions had been continually getting
stronger, but not like I was expecting.
And here we were, ready to push!
The midwife said the baby was really low down and that she would likely
be here in about half an hour, especially considering how fast I had already progressed.
That was exciting to hear! I was almost there! I remember thinking, ‘Wow, this isn’t so
bad!’ I got into the tub, and the water felt so nice. Eric was
calling my mom, letting her know I was already pushing. She was still 45 minutes away so we weren't sure if she would make it in time. The midwife’s assistant was still an hour
away as well.
In the beginning, I definitely was unsure how I was supposed
to push. I had heard it is supposed
to be instinctual, and I felt like I needed to push but just didn’t know how to
do it. My first few pushes were very
ineffective and unsure. The midwife could tell and coached me through
how to do it until I got the hang of it. After each push, the midwife checked
the baby’s heartbeat with a Doppler to make sure she was okay.
Time started passing. Next
thing I knew, both my mom and the assistant midwife were there. And I was feeling really tired. They kept
giving me this juice drink to keep me hydrated, which I was definitely not
interested in by that point. I kept pushing contraction after contraction, but after a couple of
hours I hadn't made any real progress.
From then on for the next
several hours, it was trying one position after another, looking for one that
would work for me. We tried side-lying on the bed for a while, hands and knees,
squatting, hanging onto a rebozo scarf, etc.
Nothing seemed to be working. After about 3-4 hours, I was so
exhausted. I couldn’t understand why the baby wouldn’t just come out already!
Her head was very low this entire time. Everybody was getting pretty tired, especially since we didn't know why the pushing hadn't progressed farther.
The midwife (who, by the way, was super amazing, encouraging and patient the whole time) had me move back to the tub to relax while she called her colleagues for advice. Right before moving back to the tub, Eric gave me a priesthood blessing. The midwife came back and
told me she was a bit concerned with how slowly it was going and that I
might need to consider being transferred to a hospital since they didn't have the equipment to perform any procedures to help the baby
come out at the birth center. She was worried that maybe my pelvic bones were just too small for
the baby to fit through (even though she could tell the baby was a smallish
baby). However, she still gave me the choice to keep trying at the birth center for a little longer if I wanted. She knew that we had worked hard and prepared to give birth there. I decided to keep trying.
So she made me a protein shake to try to give me some energy back and she called
a couple of the other midwives to come help, and we got going again. That little break definitely gave me a burst
of energy. I was hoping (an understatement) we could get the baby out soon. I pushed as hard as I could each time, asking
baby girl to come, and just telling myself over and over that I could do
it. Honestly, I wasn’t sure that I could
do it by that point. I was so tired of
pushing, it hurt so much, and it didn’t seem to be making any difference. I was
trying to reach as deep as I could for the strength each time and tried to
give it my all.
This whole time, Eric was amazing.
He stayed right by me, comforting me, telling me I was doing great, and
helping with all the different positions.
I can only imagine how horrible I looked at this point. I sure felt
awful. The assistant midwife and my mom
kept putting cool washcloths on my head and chest which felt amazing. The
midwives were also incredible. They were
so encouraging and positive. When I would say, ‘I can do this.’ They would say,
‘you are doing this.’ They talked
softly which was so calming. They stayed right next to me throughout the entire
pushing phase, lending me their shoulders so that I could push against them with my feet. I'm sure they needed some therapy themselves after bruises I gave them!
Each time they asked me to change positions, it was so hard to
even move. I could feel baby girl’s head down there and walking was really
uncomfortable. I’m
not sure what time she started crowning, but it was soon after I got out of the
water the second time. When they told me
she was crowning, I felt so relieved – I was finally getting somewhere! Unfortunately, for me that didn't mean we
were getting anywhere fast. From the
time baby girl started crowning to when she came out was about 3 hours. When she first started to crown, I got to
reach down and feel the top of her head.
That was of course, amazing, but I was also so completely out of it because
of the pain and super exhausted that I didn't appreciate how wonderful that was
at the time. I really couldn't focus on
anything else at that point.
A
couple more hours passed, and by this point we now had four midwives with
us. Again, they broached the possibility
of needing to go to the hospital. They
reminded me that I would not have failed if I did have to go in. I knew this,
but we were so close! I did not want to
have to give up. I also did not know how
they expected me to move anywhere. Going anywhere sounded like the worst idea
ever. Also, knowing that they would
probably be using vacuum or forceps at the hospital also made me very resistant
to the idea. They started discussing what else they could do to help get her
out. One of the midwives asked if I had been to the bathroom
recently. I said no, though they had
made me drink a ton over the hours. There was no way I was getting up to go now! They suggested trying a catheter to see if emptying my bladder could
open up some more space. I was willing to try anything if it might help, and
keep from having to move me anywhere. So they got that set up and were able to
get about 300mLs out.
And
that turned out to be the trick that got her out! The midwives continued to encourage me to
give it my all with each push, which I was certainly trying to do. I had one midwife next to my head, holding my
hand, the other three down at my feet, encouraging me, and holding my legs and
feet. Finally, (FINALLY!), after one gigantic push, her head came out! A couple more pushes, and the rest of her
followed.
They
immediately placed her on my chest. I
just cried in relief and amazement that she was finally here. So tiny, so beautiful, and mine. Eric and I
continued to stare at her, touch her as the midwives cleaned me up. After a few minutes I pushed the placenta
out. We got to look at it before they
took it away to store it- we donated it to the birthing center to use in their
classes.
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| Holding little Abby soon after her birth |
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| My mom and I. What a huge help she was! |
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| The new daddy. |
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| An hour or so later, Abby was weighed. 7 lb 7.5 oz. |
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| Our little family |
I
had torn just a little – a first degree tear –and so they got that all stitched
up. And then they massaged my abdomen to
make sure the uterus was contracting back down.
That was incredibly painful. But now I had my baby to hold and look at,
so none of that really bothered me.
Finally,
when they were done with everything, the midwives all left, replaced by a nurse
who would be there the next several hours to check in on us. So, now it was
quiet, just the three of us. Eric and I spent much of that first night talking
and trying to decide finally on our little girl’s name. Then, early that next
morning, we packed up beautiful little Abigail and headed home.
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| Ready to go! |
Overall,
I feel that Abigail’s birth was an amazing, beautiful experience. Yes, things
didn’t go quite as smoothly as I had hoped, and pushing was awful as I was
going through it. But it was still
wonderful. I am glad that I was able to experience a natural birth at the
birthing center. I loved it there. I think things would have ended a bit
differently if I had been somewhere else. So, for me, I am glad I got the birth
experience I hoped for. And most
importantly, I am just so grateful for my baby girl. We love her so much.
Welcome
again to the family, little Abby!
