Becoming a mom - some thoughts

This has been my first official week of not working. How strange that feels.  The closest I have come to this was when we were in China and I did only small tutoring/English teaching jobs. And Eric can attest to the fact that I thoroughly enjoyed the time I had for exploring and trying new adventures like baking in a rice cooker. But this is different.  My time won't be spent blissfully exploring San Diego or baking batches of cookies without a care in the world. I am going to be a mamma! And that's a slightly (hugely!) frightening thing.

I have wanted this for so long and I fully see it for the amazing blessing it is.  Those months of praying for a baby, the heartache of our miscarriage, the pain of seeing others have what I so desperately wanted are not forgotten.  But now that motherhood is literally upon me, I wonder - what in the world am I doing? I can't be a mother! How am I supposed to be responsible for the nurturing, teaching, and life of another person?

And then I feel baby girl moving inside me and realize how much I already love this little one. And as much as part of me wants her to stay nice and safe in there, I know she is coming soon.  And I can't wait to hold her and kiss her, and yes, even be her mother.

Weekend trip and a birthday

This weekend Eric and I were able to drive up to Fontana to see my sister Lilly come home from her mission.  Thanks to her coming in on a late Friday evening flight, we were even able to make it up to the airport after Eric's class.

It was so good to see her again.  Poor girl was definitely not wanting to be home - I think most of her first day back was spent in tears. But she pulled herself together in time to give an amazing talk on Sunday in church.  She has grown so much and I am so proud of her!  Oh, missions are so wonderful! Now that she and Eric's sister Brittany are home, we don't have any more siblings left to serve missions.  A little sad.

Eric just happened to have his birthday while we were in Fontana and it was fun being able to celebrate with family.  He would have preferred me not to remind everyone that it was his birthday, but I couldn't do that!  It was still low key, but fun.  Complete with a disaster of a homemade german chocolate cake I made him.  Tasted amazing, just had to piece it all back together with frosting after it came out of the pans in a ton of pieces. :)

I love that boy and wish I could give him so much more than a crushed cake. He is most definitely the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Weeks 33-36

Week 33

Now that I had the stress of the growth ultrasound past, I was feeling much better about everything - knowing that baby girl is okay. I had my baby shower this week which was so fun.  I'm glad we had it earlier than originally planned (would have been at 38 weeks) because now we have been able to plan better what all we need to get ready for our girl. 

Week 34

This week I had people tell me for the first time that I look like I am "about to pop." Which, after being told repeatedly that I look sooo small, it was actually not an unwelcome change. Though I think maybe it was the shirt I was wearing because the next day it was back to people telling me I look tiny. At our midwife appointment this week I measured at 31, so up 2 from two weeks ago, so growth seems to be back on track! 

We got our baby 'nursery' all set up this week. We have been very uncertain as to how a baby was fitting into our tiny place. Its snug, that's for sure.  But it is going to work!  The pack n play is set up in a corner in our room, right next to the bed and I cleaned out part of our dresser to fit in baby's things. It's a good thing baby's don't seem to need too much. 

Week 35

I am definitely starting to feel bigger this week. Getting out of bed and off the couch is always interesting.  But I still feel really good!  All of the girls in my birthing class were complaining this week about swelling and being so uncomfortable. They all sure looked miserable.  I am definitely counting my blessings and crossing my fingers that it isn't just going to hit me a little later. 

Week 36

This week we started our weekly mid-wife visits. It is feeling oh so much closer now. Which makes me feel all the more overwhelmed.  

We went shopping for baby for this first time this week.  Up to this point, we hadn't purchased a single thing for this little girl.  But we hit the baby resale stores and got some good things. I had been researching baby carriers and for now got us a Moby wrap which besides having to get used to all the wrapping, seems great for baby-wearing when she is really small.  Also got the last of our cloth diapers ordered.  So things are slowly starting to come together! 

Only a month left!

A new-found passion and a fun date

I have told Eric a few times since we have been married that it would be fun to take a ballroom dance class together or go dancing together sometime. I took a beginners class at BYU and loved it while Eric never seemed too interested.  Though he is the one who always wants to dance around the living room. :)

Well, we just recently found out that the Balboa Park Dancers host ballroom dance lessons and dances every Friday and Sunday night at the Balboa Park Club. I got Eric to agree that we would go at least once before the baby comes. We missed the free night our ward hosted last Friday (we were at a Ron Paul town hall meeting supporting our good friends who organized it- an interesting experience) and with our weekends busy til right before baby girls's due date, this was our weekend to go!

We made a date night out of it, complete with dinner beforehand and frozen yogurt afterwards (very extravagant for us and oh so nice). And the dancing - was amazing. We learned the waltz and the two-step. The best part was that Eric loved it. I think he has found a new passion - he told me he wants to be a dancer now. :) We have practiced our waltz and two-step in the living room a couple of times already and are just bummed that we won't be able to go for probably a good while after our baby is here. At least it won't be as easy.

If only we had discovered that Eric actually likes ballroom dancing - and found this amazing place - sooner! 

My dragonboat racer

Ever seen a dragonboat race?  I never had before Saturday but they are pretty exciting to watch!  

Eric was part of a team from his school that participated in the annual San Diego Dragon Boat Festival where over 30 groups put together teams to race. None of the teams are professional and it is all in good fun.  I came along to be the cheerleader. 

Eric's team: The Musing Dragons. You might notice there a few older people on the team - about half of the students who volunteered bailed at the last minute, so their sponsors had to step in and help.  

A few pictures of them 'practicing.' None of them had ever done this before.  It was very amusing.

Complete confusion. The man halfway cut off on the left is their self-appointed coach (remember, he has never done this before either), giving instructions.  Apparantly they didn't help. 

 Off to start the first race.  It was double elimination, so they had two races at least before they were finished. 

At the starting line!

 Eric's team is the one closest to the camera.  Look how close they were! 

The result?  They lost.  But it was actually close so that was exciting. 

Hanging out with his friends in between races. During which time they all overate on the food brought by the nice sponsors. I will blame the results of their next race on that.  And the fact that about a third of their boat consisted of ladies over the age of 60.

Off again!

Starting line...

We are the boat that is hopelessly behind.  That's right, they were creamed. 

Even if he did lose, twice, he is still awfully cute. 

Birthdays!

Eric and I both have May birthdays so May is just a big month of celebrations in our little family. 

My birthday was this last Thursday. I love birthdays, despite the fact that every year I keep getting older...

Eric is such a sweet husband and though he has been super busy with school and work, he still made sure it was a special day.  He even came home and made this amazing cake for me 

 

It was delicious!  We even had ice cream with it, which is a big treat in this house. :)

We spent my birthday evening at birthing class.  I didn't mind too much since we both really like our class. It is at the birthing center where we are getting our prenatal care and where we will have our little baby girl. Our teacher is a very experienced doula and birthing teacher and she is amazing. Our class consists of just 8 couples who are all having their babies at the birthing center.  It has been great to meet other couples with the same goals and plans for natural births as us. Our topic this week was not so fun as it was discussing the possible interventions that would occur in the case of a hospital transfer, which of course none of us want. But it was good to talk about all the alternatives and preventative measures we can take. And class ended with relaxation which means Eric gives me a massage. My favorite part. :) A good end to a great birthday.