Abigail's birth story

This is a long, detailed post so feel free to skip over if you are not into birth stories.

Eric and I fully expected our baby girl to show up a week or two late.  My mother and my sisters had all their babies late so I was convinced it would be the same for me. When things started happening the Wednesday (June 6) before my due date (on Sunday), it definitely caught us by surprise. Eric and I had stayed up later than usual that night, I think he was studying and I was just staying up with him.  We were climbing into bed at 11:45pm, when I felt liquid between my legs.  My first thought was that I had lost bladder control and wet myself.  I started to stand up and the liquid started coming out even faster, and I suddenly realized that this was my water breaking. I was completely in shock.  I made my way into the bathroom but just stood there over the rug staring down, not believing this was happening. After at least 30 seconds, I finally had the sense of mind to stop soaking our rug and cleaned up.  The fluid continued to trickle and come out in small gushes over the next several hours. 

As it started to hit us that our baby was on her way, the first thing I thought was, we aren't ready! We had all the big stuff ready to go, but hadn't finished the last minute preparations yet – the fridge was pretty much empty, carseat hadn't been checked yet, I hadn't sewn my cloth wipes, etc...  Despite all these thoughts, we also realized that we needed to try to get some sleep since the next day was going to be a long one for sure.  We tried to calm down.  Of course, neither of us could sleep very well - too many thoughts going through our heads. And the contractions started coming at about 12:20am. At first they felt just a bit stronger than the Braxton-hicks I had been feeling. Gradually they grew more intense to the point that it was hard to try to lay down through them. By 3:30am they were about 10 minutes apart, so I was continually getting up to lean over the bed or sitting on the toilet to make it through the contractions.  I also kept needing to go to the bathroom.  In the early morning hours, some thick, pinkish stuff came out with the trickling fluid.  Maybe this was the mucus plug?  It wasn't until 4:30am that I was finally able to lie down and doze off a little between contractions.

When morning finally came, I called the midwife on call to let her know my water had broke and to find out what she wanted us to do. She asked a few questions and then told me to call back after 8am since the midwife would be changing, but she let me know that we would be coming in to the birth center sometime that morning to be checked.  As we waited an hour, we got dressed, pausing for the contractions which were about 7 minutes apart at this point.  I was absolutely starving so we ate some breakfast (home-made yogurt with granola and fruit!), knowing we would need the nourishment.  At 8:30am I called the midwife, who told us to come in at noon and they would check to confirm that my water did break and see how far I had progressed by that point.  That was actually sooner than Eric and I had thought we would be going in.

Knowing what time we had, Eric and I started to get things ready.  We called my mom to let her know that I was in labor since she was planning on driving down from Fontana to be there for the birth.  We all figured the labor would last the whole day so she said she wouldn’t start the 2 hour drive until the afternoon. Eric and I started putting the last few things in the labor bag and prepared all the snacks and food to take with us.  This basically turned into a frantic rush to see how many graham crackers we could spread with peanut butter before we ran out of time.  Luckily, we had a bit of a leftover noodle dish that we brought with us for the after birth meal.

Me sewing the heating pad between contractions

At 9:50am the contractions started coming faster, stronger, and more painful, about 5 minutes apart. My back was killing me during each contraction. We tried different positions to ease the pain, but it was mostly kneeling and leaning over our birth ball or the couch with Eric pushing on my back. It helped some.  I started regretting that I had not gotten around to making the rice heating pad that was on my to-do list.  Amazingly, I decided I could make one right then - it could be my ‘labor project.’ So Eric got out the sewing machine and the rice.  In between contractions, I sat down and sewed.  When a contraction started coming, I would get up and lean on Eric or the birth ball.  Luckily, it was a super easy sewing project, so it didn’t take too many contractions to make.  And, once it was done, oh my how amazing it felt on my back!  Definitely worth it!  I think Eric also appreciated the break from having to push so hard on my back.

About to leave for the birth center!  (still smiling)

Just arriving at the birth center (luckily only 5 blocks from our home)

Throughout the whole morning, the contractions kept progressing, but I still felt pretty good – still able to laugh at all of Eric’s jokes in between.  The morning seemed to go by quickly and, before I knew it, it was time to head to the birth center. Thankfully, we were able to find close parking – there is no parking lot, just street parking, so we usually have to park a few blocks away. We made our way slowly to the birth center, having to stop a few times to get through contractions. When we finally met with the midwife, I must have looked very calm (not in heavy labor) to her, because she was ready to send us off for a couple more hours to walk around the park.  When she checked, though, I was dilated to a 5!  That meant we were staying!

Since my water had broken, I had to do fetal heart rate monitoring for about 20 minutes.  This was the only time during the whole labor that I had to sit still in one spot and be hooked up to something.  It was awful – the contractions felt so much more painful!  I don’t think the midwife (Britta) even kept me hooked up for the full time because she could tell I was so uncomfortable.  Baby girl was just fine, so we headed upstairs to our room.  (One of the reasons we were excited about giving birth at this birth center was the rooms.  We had a full bedroom, a bathroom, a large bathtub room, and a waiting room all to ourselves!  And it was all decorated in a cute, vintage fashion!)  We checked in just after noon.

In the downstairs bedroom at the birth center upon first arrival

We were looking forward to a water birth, but I wasn't far enough along to get in the tub yet, so we opted for the shower to help relieve some of that back pain. I sat on a chair in the shower and Eric sprayed water on my lower back.  It felt amazing!  That is, it felt amazing when the water was warm.  Eric couldn't quite figure out the temperature, so it kept going back and forth between warm and cold.  I didn't stay there very long.  For the next couple hours, I went back and forth between using the birth ball, leaning on Eric, and sitting on the toilet.  The whole time I felt like I needed to poop, a feeling that became stronger as the time went on.  I mentioned this to the midwife and she said it was likely due to the baby's head getting lower. 

She checked me again at 2:00pm, and we were all surprised to hear that I was already dilated to a 10. Wasn’t I supposed to go through transition and super horrible, intense contractions?  I definitely couldn’t pinpoint any point that felt like that.  My contractions had been continually getting stronger, but not like I was expecting.  And here we were, ready to push!  The midwife said the baby was really low down and that she would likely be here in about half an hour, especially considering how fast I had already progressed. 

That was exciting to hear! I was almost there!  I remember thinking, ‘Wow, this isn’t so bad!’  I got into the tub, and the water felt so nice.  Eric was calling my mom, letting her know I was already pushing.  She was still 45 minutes away so we weren't sure if she would make it in time. The midwife’s assistant was still an hour away as well.

In the beginning, I definitely was unsure how I was supposed to push.  I had heard it is supposed to be instinctual, and I felt like I needed to push but just didn’t know how to do it.  My first few pushes were very ineffective and unsure. The midwife could tell and coached me through how to do it until I got the hang of it. After each push, the midwife checked the baby’s heartbeat with a Doppler to make sure she was okay.

Time started passing.  Next thing I knew, both my mom and the assistant midwife were there.  And I was feeling really tired. They kept giving me this juice drink to keep me hydrated, which I was definitely not interested in by that point. I kept pushing contraction after contraction, but after a couple of  hours I hadn't made any real progress.

From then on for the next several hours, it was trying one position after another, looking for one that would work for me. We tried side-lying on the bed for a while, hands and knees, squatting, hanging onto a rebozo scarf, etc.  Nothing seemed to be working. After about 3-4 hours, I was so exhausted. I couldn’t understand why the baby wouldn’t just come out already! Her head was very low this entire time. Everybody was getting pretty tired, especially since we didn't know why the pushing hadn't progressed farther.

The midwife (who, by the way, was super amazing, encouraging and patient the whole time) had me move back to the tub to relax while she called her colleagues for advice. Right before moving back to the tub, Eric gave me a priesthood blessing.  The midwife came back and told me she was a bit concerned with how slowly it was going and that I might need to consider being transferred to a hospital since they didn't have the equipment to perform any procedures to help the baby come out at the birth center. She was worried that maybe my pelvic bones were just too small for the baby to fit through (even though she could tell the baby was a smallish baby). However, she still gave me the choice to keep trying at the birth center for a little longer if I wanted.  She knew that we had worked hard and prepared to give birth there.  I decided to keep trying.

So she made me a protein shake to try to give me some energy back and she called a couple of the other midwives to come help, and we got going again.  That little break definitely gave me a burst of energy. I was hoping (an understatement) we could get the baby out soon.  I pushed as hard as I could each time, asking baby girl to come, and just telling myself over and over that I could do it.  Honestly, I wasn’t sure that I could do it by that point.  I was so tired of pushing, it hurt so much, and it didn’t seem to be making any difference. I was trying to reach as deep as I could for the strength each time and tried to give it my all. 

This whole time, Eric was amazing.  He stayed right by me, comforting me, telling me I was doing great, and helping with all the different positions.  I can only imagine how horrible I looked at this point. I sure felt awful.  The assistant midwife and my mom kept putting cool washcloths on my head and chest which felt amazing. The midwives were also incredible.  They were so encouraging and positive. When I would say, ‘I can do this.’ They would say, ‘you are doing this.’ They talked softly which was so calming. They stayed right next to me throughout the entire pushing phase, lending me their shoulders so that I could push against them with my feet.  I'm sure they needed some therapy themselves after bruises I gave them!

Each time they asked me to change positions, it was so hard to even move. I could feel baby girl’s head down there and walking was really uncomfortable.  I’m not sure what time she started crowning, but it was soon after I got out of the water the second time.  When they told me she was crowning, I felt so relieved – I was finally getting somewhere!  Unfortunately, for me that didn't mean we were getting anywhere fast.  From the time baby girl started crowning to when she came out was about 3 hours.  When she first started to crown, I got to reach down and feel the top of her head.  That was of course, amazing, but I was also so completely out of it because of the pain and super exhausted that I didn't appreciate how wonderful that was at the time.  I really couldn't focus on anything else at that point.

A couple more hours passed, and by this point we now had four midwives with us.  Again, they broached the possibility of needing to go to the hospital.  They reminded me that I would not have failed if I did have to go in. I knew this, but we were so close!  I did not want to have to give up.  I also did not know how they expected me to move anywhere. Going anywhere sounded like the worst idea ever.  Also, knowing that they would probably be using vacuum or forceps at the hospital also made me very resistant to the idea. They started discussing what else they could do to help get her out. One of the midwives asked if I had been to the bathroom recently.  I said no, though they had made me drink a ton over the hours.  There was no way I was getting up to go now!  They suggested trying a catheter to see if emptying my bladder could open up some more space. I was willing to try anything if it might help, and keep from having to move me anywhere. So they got that set up and were able to get about 300mLs out.

And that turned out to be the trick that got her out!  The midwives continued to encourage me to give it my all with each push, which I was certainly trying to do.  I had one midwife next to my head, holding my hand, the other three down at my feet, encouraging me, and holding my legs and feet. Finally, (FINALLY!), after one gigantic push, her head came out!  A couple more pushes, and the rest of her followed.

They immediately placed her on my chest.  I just cried in relief and amazement that she was finally here.  So tiny, so beautiful, and mine. Eric and I continued to stare at her, touch her as the midwives cleaned me up.  After a few minutes I pushed the placenta out.  We got to look at it before they took it away to store it- we donated it to the birthing center to use in their classes.

Holding little Abby soon after her birth

My mom and I. What a huge help she was!

The new daddy.

An hour or so later, Abby was weighed. 7 lb 7.5 oz.

Our little family

I had torn just a little – a first degree tear –and so they got that all stitched up.  And then they massaged my abdomen to make sure the uterus was contracting back down.  That was incredibly painful. But now I had my baby to hold and look at, so none of that really bothered me.

Finally, when they were done with everything, the midwives all left, replaced by a nurse who would be there the next several hours to check in on us. So, now it was quiet, just the three of us. Eric and I spent much of that first night talking and trying to decide finally on our little girl’s name. Then, early that next morning, we packed up beautiful little Abigail and headed home.

Ready to go!

Overall, I feel that Abigail’s birth was an amazing, beautiful experience. Yes, things didn’t go quite as smoothly as I had hoped, and pushing was awful as I was going through it.  But it was still wonderful. I am glad that I was able to experience a natural birth at the birthing center.  I loved it there.  I think things would have ended a bit differently if I had been somewhere else. So, for me, I am glad I got the birth experience I hoped for.  And most importantly, I am just so grateful for my baby girl.  We love her so much.

Welcome again to the family, little Abby!